Ian was 3 here....Now he's almost 14 and defending kids smaller than he is at school. It was a rough day for my little man.
There's this Bully that got kicked out of a middle school here in town...now he has evidently transferred to our school and has taken up his habit again. Ian has never been involved in a fight before...no really... he's a good kid, a Christian kid, into sports and girls...he doesn't even have a cell phone yet. An all around good kid. Today Ian got between this Bully and a middle schooler that is smaller than he is (and Ian is small...103pounds small and he's almost 14). Anyway, he told Bully Dude to back off and turned around to walk away and this guy grabbed him from behind and started choking him! Ian got turned around some how and kicked him as another student walked up and punched the Bully in the nose. Needless to say, Bully Dude has now been kicked out of OUR middle school. Ian had to sit in the conference room for 2 1/2 hours with the principle because his throat was blue and red! He didn't get in trouble at all because it was self defense but they were concerned about his throat so he got out of classes this afternoon.
Ok...why didn't they call me? My child gets choked by a Bully and no one called me. I've been sitting here thinking...'ok maybe it wasn't as bad as all that so they didn't think it was necessary to call'. But then I think 'HE WAS CHOKED BY A BULLY! SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME NO MATTER IF IT WAS BAD OR NOT!' These days you just can't mess with a Bully.
What is it that has taken our schools from the 'occasional bully' to kids that think they literally run the schools they are in? We have gotten to the point in our schools now that they won't even fail a child if they need to. The parents have to make the decision to 'hold their child back' but the teachers won't even tell you THAT. I would like to hear what you all think about our schools these days....from Elementary School to College (VaTech for instance). What is happening in our schools? Terror, rage, hate,....what is causing this?
Just wondering what you all think....
3 comments:
I was about your son's size at that age (I was actually smaller and lighter--wrestled in the lightest class in 10th grade.) I'm glad he stepped up to this situation. It took courage and it exposed that the risk your school took in enrolling a kid who had been kicked out was not a good risk. I'm speaking from the admin. point of view, here.
There is probably more to this "bully's" life than you know. There is usually a reason for this sort of behavior--lack of solid parenting for starters (IF both parents are in the picture), but sadly there are some things that schools can't fix, and if a kid is putting others at risk, he can't be in the community of learners. He needs help and not all schools are equipped to offer what he needs.
I would caution all of your readers, however, that there is a gigantic jump in thinking from a troubled middle school bully and the psycho case at VA Tech. Parents need to learn to keep things in perspective. I had a parent once get all upset and eager to call something "hate speech" until he learned that his child was the one who wrote the note and not the child who received the note. Then all of a sudden it was "just a poorly chosen joke" rather than hate speech that needed immediate action. The fact of the matter is that it wasn't hate speech in the first place, but he wouldn't accept that until the tables turned.
So I would give your admin the benefit of the doubt. It takes a while to sort these things out. He was not trying leaving you in the dark, but if he was, you have every right to ask why, but you'll make a much more memorable impression for future face time with your admin if you "respond" and not "react" to this matter.
There's a lot I don't know about this situation, but that's just my point. There's almost always a lot that people don't know when they begin second-guessing. Give your school the benefit of the doubt. If they don't deserve it, there will be another opportunity to point it out to them.
Your son sounds like a great kid. I would have backed him, too.
Sorry this is so long.
Thanks and don't worry about long comments...that's why I'm here. To discuss. :O) You are right....bullies in grade school are way different from psycho cases like at VTech. But how do our the psycho cases get to be psycho cases? The guy from VTech was supposedly shy all his life. I can't see him being a bully at a young age. Something went wrong there. But where do bullies end up in the scheme of life? As mean bosses and arrogant bar hoppers? I don't know. I do know that these days it is necessary for a parent to be involved in their childs life. It used to be ok to be a latch key kid but now kids are going home alone because their families have been separated and Moms OR Dads are trying to feed the children so they're working nonstop. Or they've just run out on their kids and left them to fend for themselves. It just makes me so grateful that I grew up in a home where I knew I was loved. These days my dad would have been put UNDER the jail for getting a switch off the tree to 'whip' us with. I just wish that my kids could grow up with the same morals and values and disciplines that we had when I was little. I know Ben and I can give them the values and morals we believe in but the things they see in every day life is sad these days. Anyway, you're right about the admin at the school. I know they are a great bunch of people and they just didn't think it was necessary to call. I'm not bent out of shape about it but I was just wondering why they wouldn't call. I'll probably email the secretary tomorrow 'just to ask'.
In any case, I am very proud of Ian...he really did a good thing today and thats all I ask. That he live his life the way Jesus would want him to. Ok so I DO talk off the top of my head in case you haven't figured that out yet! :O)
I do think he did the right thing and he will never forget that.
Post a Comment